Janice Lynne Lundy
Hello, everyone. As I promised in my last post, we have a guest blogger today – Janice Lynne Lundy. Jan is an interfaith spiritual director, spiritual mentor, inspirational speaker and workshop and retreat leader in Michigan. She is the author of three books, the most recent of which is Your Truest Self: Embracing the Woman You Are Meant To Be. We will be giving a away a copy of Your Truest Self to one of today’s commentators in a random drawing.
I met Jan here on this blog, when she left a comment last June, and then asked me to be a guest blogger on her site, Awake is Good, which frequently touches on meditation and other spiritual practices.
Today, Jan prepared the following essay for us on the value of spiritual practices – which includes using prayer beads of all types. I hope you enjoy it – and that at the end, you will post a comment or question for Jan, who will be checking in throughout the day to respond.
Here’s Jan:
Finding Your Ideal Spiritual Practice
We have all witnessed others engaged in meaningful spiritual practices. Bearded men garbed in black, bobbing rhythmically at the Wailing Wall in Jerusalem. White-robed swamis chanting “Hare Krishna.” A Gospel singer raising the rafters with heartfelt strains of “Amazing Grace.” Sufi Dervishes whirling. African drummers drumming. A lone Buddhist meditating cross-legged on a craggy peak overlooking the ocean. All these and more fill our imaginations, ever hopeful that we, too, might find practices that enliven our spirit.
Spiritual practices, simply put, are those activities that connect us more deeply with the virtues of the Spirit, with the Divine itself, by whatever name we call it. They are practices that provide us with a unique opportunity to experience sacred time and space; to remove ourselves from the distractions and noise of a too busy world, and remember our spiritual connection. Spiritual practices, properly cultivated, enable us to access inner calm, joy, and gratitude for life.
A Feast for the Spirit
The variety of spiritual practices available to us is boundless, as is our understanding of the sacred. There are quiet practices: various forms of prayer, meditation, silence, or sacred reading; active practices: singing, chanting, dancing, worship, or creative expression; and physical practices: yoga, bowing, tai chi, gardening, or mindful walking. Spiritual practices can be done alone or with others. In one’s home, in nature, in a church, temple or mosque, at all times of day or night.
It might seem that we must search long and hard to find the spiritual practices that will nourish and sustain us. In truth, all we need do to uncover them is explore a bit, then listen deeply as we “feel” our way through them. The measuring stick by which we discern whether a particular practice suits us is through body awareness—through the vehicle of our thoughts, physical senses, and emotions.
Any spiritual practice that we try on for size should, initially, have a positive effect upon us. We notice what thoughts we are having; if conscious thought has slowed or disappeared, altogether. Is our body at ease? Are our senses pleased? Are we feeling a sense of connection to our spirit, or with a Higher Power? We listen to what our body/mind says and we honor its wisdom.
With dedication, we will locate the “right” practices for us. By staying faithful to them, we will begin to experience their deeper benefits. The key is dailiness. It takes time for spiritual practices to work their magic upon us—to root us more deeply in the qualities of the spirit. Psychologists tell us it takes twenty-one days to create any new habit, ninety days for that habit to stick. Spiritual practices are no exception. It may take a year or more for them to become an invaluable part of our lifestyle.
Have Practices, Will Travel
A personal spiritual practice, well honed, can also provide comfort and stability in a very busy life. It can dependably deliver us to the shores of peace and well-being no matter where we find ourselves. For example, if nature is our spiritual connector, all we need do is step outside, take a deep breath, and feast our eyes on Mother Nature’s glory. If music enhances our sacred connection, we can plug into that—literally—with an iPod or CD player, in a car or on an airplane. Books for inspirational reading can be taken anywhere, as can a yoga mat or prayer rug for devotional practice. Have practices, will travel, I say. It is sound and wise for us to cultivate spiritual practices that can be done alone, anytime, anywhere.
Becoming the Practice
In time, the lines of distinction between ourselves and the spiritual practice will begin to blur. We actually become the practice. Its benefits—inner calm, openheartedness, generosity of spirit—meld into us. One day we may actually awaken to realize that we not only feel more loving, be we have become more loving; that we do not just feel more peaceful, but that we have become a peaceful presence in the world. Our friends and family confirm this. They tell us we are different; that we have changed for the better.
Ultimately, by engaging in spiritual practices, we have not only benefited ourselves, but we have done the world a great service. Perhaps, unknowingly, we have succeeded at what peacemaker Mahatma Gandhi invited us to:
To be the change we so desperately wish to see
in the world today.
And this is Kimberly again – I LOVE this quote from Ghandi, don’t you? This should be our prayer today – say it with or without prayer beads: “Lord, make me the change we so desperately wish to see in the world today.”
Jan, I’ll start with a question: My biggest problem with spiritual practice (in my case, the regular use of prayer beads as a means for meditation) is sticking with it. I have a terrible time keeping my mind still and focused on my prayer. I get discouraged. Can you give me some advice on how to tap into that quiet place? And I fear am I too hard on myself when I don’t stay in that place for very long – and that just makes me want to avoid going there – and failing to do it – again? What benefit will I gain by being easier on myself?
Bead One, Pray Too 
Great post and great question. I, too, have difficulty sticking to a practice of prayer and meditation. I try to set aside a specific time during the day and that helps. I also allow my mind to drift into that state throughout the day but chanting mentally, “Thank you, thank you, thank you.” For the past few months, I’ve been doing the Ho’oponopono practice of chanting, “I love you, I’m sorry, please forgive me, thank you.” The book, Zero Limits, outlines Dr. Len’s experiences with this practice. It has helped me release long-held beliefs that refused to budge for years.
Be well and full,
Rebecca
Good morning, Kimberly and Friends,
This is a great opening question! I think it is the BIG question around spiritual practice. Sticking with something—with anything!—is tough all the way around. But that is why they call it “practice.” We do have to begin again and again.
As for getting quiet, no matter what spiritual practice I am engaged in , I use the breath as my touchpoint. No matter how many times my mind wanders off (yes, even in the middle of doing my prayer beads!), I do not obsess or beat myself up or feel bad. I simply accept that I have a wild mind; it IS hard to settle down, and begin again.
Gentleness toward self is really key. The mind IS like a herd of wild horses and they do take coraling, focusing, reorienting because that is simply the nature of the mind. Just because we can’t concentrate, we don’t give up. We just return to the breath, the word, the bead, and begin again. In time, with practice, this does get easier. We do get kinder to ourselves. I often find myself (in the midst of praying or meditating) saying, “Oh, well, no big deal” and I begin again. Having a lot of energy or strong feelings about it simply fans the flames of self-doubt or denigration.
Compassion toward self, in fact, may be the ultimate spiritual practice. I hope this helps….
BTW, every Monday on my site I offer some form of meditation help. Readers might want to check it out.www.awakeisgood.blogspot.com
Hi, Jan and Rebecca!
I love what you say about the mind being like a herd of wild horses. That is exactly how I feel sometimes. And your words about being compassionate toward self brings tears to my eyes. It is a lifelong problem – and one I think so many women face. We are raised to be nice and kind – but also to be self-deprecating (or at least, we were up to a certain generation – MINE!). This will probably be the hardest thing I ever face.
Your words about breathing remind me of when I was in college and majored in theater. So much of our training was physical – voice, movement, etc – and you made me remember how much of that was a focus on breath. Next time I sit with my beads – tonight – I am going to try and draw upon some of my old acting training. It’s be unused for the last 15 years!
Hi Rebecca,
Thank you for sharing Jan with us on your lovely site!
Hi Jan,
I love how you describe the mind as “being like a herd of wild horses” as opposed to the infamous “monkey brain” term. The visual of the horses is powerful! As for the daily spiritual practices, I have yet to find my personal practice. I believe it might be rooted in the metta prayer that you and Ingrid so thoughtfully shared with me BUT I have yet to incorporate it into my daily life…the goal of blurring the lines of “distinction between ourselves and the spiritual practice” seem truly wonderful. I will work on this!
Hi Rebecca! Great choice in a guest blogger – and I’m delighted to have found YOUR blog thru Jan too! It’s all good!
Hi Jan! Perfection, honey! Love your emphasis on “practice” because that is what it is and yes, boy oh boy, don’t we have to be kind to ourselves – celebrate success and embrace ourselves when we feel we , um, I’m about to use that “f” word —- failed. Each day is a new day. My plan is to start out being grateful for just that. Another opportunity to do good stuff – for me, and for others!
Love your wild horses! Of course you’ve been reading me long enough to know I have monkeys, haha! No matter what we call those silly busy nutsy things. I talk to mine sometimes, trying to talk the monkeys down sort of – instead of spanking them, I embrace them. That seems to throw them off right there.
Great post! Love all you do to help people learn to honor the basic breath and go from there!
Hugs
suZen
Hey, just clearing things up – Rebecca is a reader and I, Kimberly, am the author of the blog! Jodi, you mention metta prayer. Jan discussed that exact practice, which was new to me at the time, this summer. To find it, click on her name in the tag cloud, or search this site using the word “metta.”
HI Jodi,
The Metta prayer has now become my main prayer/meditation form. It soothes the heart (keeps it open too) while focusing the mind. I use it whenever, wherever. When I am anxious or have insomnia. When something (esp. the news) takes me toward worry or fear. When my mind is busy and just needs settling down. When I want to send someone love and blessings. It is the practice that cures our woes and aligns us with our truest self, I believe. I am so grateful to have found it.
Oh, and keep in mind metta can be done anywhere in just a few moments of time. Standing in line in a store, while driving, etc.
Remember this is all about practice. Getting started, taking a step, then another step. It is about progress, not perfection. :-) Good luck!
Hi Jan and Kimberly,
Beautiful post and Jan, you always give such great advice. You are so right that we need to be gentle with ourselves especially when the “wild horses” take over.
When I first started meditating years ago, I used to get really upset if my mind wandered off. Then my teacher told me to not worry about it and just let it go. It truly made a difference in my practice and as a result, I really love meditating and that also includes the days when my ego is a little bit louder than I would like it to be.
Hi Jan and Kimberly,
I love this discussion.
Sometimes I have to admit I just ignore the horses and monkeys. When I just let them play (or hurl things at each other) after a while they sort of go to sleep.
Not to say I’m not mindful! But I have found that not getting too upset with whatever the horses/monkeys are doing helps me stay in touch with my focus, whether it be mantra, breath, or gazing at an object.
The monkeys will settle down.
I absolutely agree with the idea of “dailiness”. Even if an occasional day is skipped, the continuity and trust that my practice is there sustains me.
Love,
Laura
This is a great post, and I cannot resist answering the question: What benefit will I gain by being easier on myself?
The answer is — you gain everything. So often, we try to force ourselves through our lives. Do this because it’s good for you, do that because you didn’t do so well yesterday, and the list goes on and on. We try to rule our lives through willing forth action, but it doesn’t work that way. I’ve finally learned (through much trial and error) that the gentle things are far more powerful than our forceful thoughts or words. Compassion and patience for ourselves creates a foundation upon which we cannot truly fail. It allows us to come back and try again and again. As with any practice, just keep coming back to it. And accept that some days go better than others.
Boy, you all are just awesome. I have to say, I think there is something bigger going on here. For the last 4 or 5 days I have just been feeling awful. Not for any real reason that I can pinpoint, just feeling incredibly overwhelmed by daily life, and feeling more depressed than I have in years. Which is saying a lot. And now, here comes this day of guest blogging and all you people leaving such wonderful, uplifting comments about how I need to stop being so hard on myself. I think I was meant to hear these thins today. Tonight, when I ise my beads, I will be giving a round of thanks for having all of you and all of your caring, thoughtful words brought into my life today, of all days.
Hi Kimberly and Jan
I had to laugh how I even made spiritual practice into a school subject that I could fail if I did not do it exactly as I was told.
I too cannot contain my thoughts, they go all over the place and my mind has always so much to say!
AND like Martha Beck says, why does my mind not talk like my best friend but like my worst enemy?
However letting go of wanting to do it right is a great reminder.
It takes practice and practice and practice and in the meantime just be as kind to myself as I would be to a child.
THAT works for me and when I find my mind taking over, I gently and lovingly observe and correct my mental posture and get on with the practice and get on with finding peace in myself again.
And I love reminders like this, lots of love to you both, Wilma
Hi Kimberly and Jan,
Spiritual practice, especially the very personal can for me be…well, challenging at times. It’s easy to get caught up in the busyness of life – and then it’s not happening.
What has worked well for me – and I didn’t even per se plan it – is to have some quiet time in the morning. Maybe with some background instrumental music playing – before anyone else has gotten up for the day. And it just feels like this is “sacred” time, time to connect with something deeper within. Some days are more connecting than others. And some may not happen at all. What has been consistent is that that time is always there for me – and I’m in that space. How I choose to use it sometimes varies a bit – and this may throw me off of habit a bit – the key though has really been to “be” in that early morning time.
And I’ve noticed that I just seem to be more at peace with everything around me. And that has been so, so good.
Great thoughts here today, and good for me to think about how I’m really doing this, and to what degree it’s happening…
Hi Nadia,
Such a great testimonial to relaxing into the process of meditation or any spiritual practice. It’s pretty normal for the voice of the ego to initially get louder when we begin. It’s nice to hear this affirmation from you, an experienced meditator. :-)
I recall when I first started yoga, I would get so anxious when I’d be in sivasana that I would be relaxing then startle myself into anxiety. It’s almost as if my ego did not want to let me go into any sort of deep ease. Just shifting into neutral about the “voices” or chatter does help. I often think of it exactly like that–like shifting a car into neutral. When we hear the chatter, shift, let off the gas, then we begin to glide. :-)
Laura,
You are absolutely right. The monkeys or horses will settle down if we unplug from their energy. It doesn’t feel like it until after a little while, but they do stop being so energetic. And dailiness is key, as you say. It is part of forming a practice or “spiritual discipline” as some would call it. To have positive results we must stick to it. I know that you are a very faithful meditator…
MIchele,
Thanks for your comment. I love what you say here, “Compassion and patience for ourselves creates a foundation upon which we cannot truly fail.” This is a major Truth! Like you, I learned the hard way, through trial, error and in my case, ill health. Once I stopped pushing so hard, my inner rhythm began to return. I go more slowly now, press less, breathe a lot, and try to smile. Unfortunately, some of us have to crash and burn before we learn the big lesson of being kind to ourselves first. With self-compassion comes other-compassion. But we must begin with ourselves…
Kimberly,
I am so glad that all these wise folks are giving you affirmation and a little loving nudge toward gentleness. It does sound like today is an auspicious day for you – Holy Synchronicity, I call it. When wise, compassionate souls gather, hearts are opened and healing occurs. May your prayers tonight be gentle and loving. (I love the prayer you suggested for tonight, by the way, at the end of the post. Lovely!)
Hi Jan and Kimberly,
Jan this is a wonderful post. I always have a CD of spiritual healing music in the car. I found that now when I drive I am so much less stressed. I also find a few moments while waiting in the car pool lane to meditate. I can’t tell you how much I enjoy those quiet times. Funny, I have more time to meditate in my car than my own home!
Kimberly, thank you for hosting Jan today…she is such a wonderful woman who shares incredible peace, insight and knowledge with us.
Lance, what you say is true. The pace of our lives these days can really cause the spiritual spiritual practices to slide away. I know, for me too. :-) Often, I have grand intentions, then the phone rings, kids need me, etc.
The early morning time you’ve claimed as spiritual practice time is so powerful. As you say, you can do many things with it or just nothing. Just sit. Be. Listen to the silence. I am a firm believer that what we experience the first 30 minutes of our day upon waking can determine the entire tone for the day. So an morning quiet time is right in tune with that. Good for you! I am glad you are feeling the benefits from that.
Caroline,
You know when my kids were young and car pooling was my middle name I LIVED for those moments of quiet or gentle music in the car. I am so glad to hear that you have found the same. Breathe on with ease….And thanks for your kind words. You are so dear!
Jan, thanks for the words of encouragement. I’ll get started and I will be sure to keep in mind that it’s the practice that is important, not perfection!
Kimberly, I just realized I referred to you as Rebecca in my original comment. I apologize! Beautiful site and thank you much for sharing Jan with all of us!
Being easy on yourself and yet staying with it – that strikes me as the way to go too. Jan mentions that it can take a year before a practice becomes really effective. It took me three years in one case (jogging, which I was doing at first just to stay in shape without knowing it could become meditative) and just under a year with sitting meditation.
Speaking of meditation, it probably helps to be clear on what you mean by that word. Some folks use it to refer to quiet, quality reflective time. Others mean non-dualistic awareness or “mystical experience.” These two states of mind – quiet reflection and non dualistic consciousness – may be related, but they’re very distinct experiences.
Hello all,
I just have to add my 2 cents and emphasize what (I think it was Jan) said about the word PRACTICE…it’s practice…that means it never, ever has to be “perfect” and we get to do our practice over and over again…not because we need to “get it right” but because doing it, practicing it…is IT. No matter if our horses are wild and racing or our monkeys are having a party…our breath is always present and waiting patiently for us to return our awareness to NOW, this moment, this breath…and that’s tied to compassion, right? gentle return to this moment…drift away into story or horses or monkeys, notice that you’ve been traveling and return to the welcoming embrace of breath…again and again and again. You can’t do it wrong…not really…as long as you consistently pay attention to the fact that yes indeed your mind wanders and allow that to be the arrow that points you back to the center of your soul…your breath.
gentle steps and loving breaths,
Laura
Great post. This is my first time here and I like the site. This article really touches on a lot of things. I was recently listening to a Pema Chodron talk with Alice Walker where they talk about drifting in and out of practice and discipline, even monks and nuns do this. I enjoyed this read and glad I discovered your wonderful blog.
Cheers,
Miche
Hi Paul,
Yes, it does take time, dedicated time to make any such practice take hold. And I appreciate the distinction you make between “meditation forms.” As you know, there are many, many forms, varying with each religious tradition. I mostly refer to what in Tibetan Buddhism is called “shamatha” meditation, peaceful abiding. We connect with our breath, our beingness, and sit in “wellness” with all that arises.
Laura,
Yes! You described this “perfectly” (well, at least in my book). The source and “goal,” if you will, of all meditation seems to be compassion. Complete acceptance of what arises, of ourselves, of others. So that, hopefully, with time and practice, we do move into a state of non-dualistic awareness. Then there is no I or you. It all fits. It all belongs and there is no striving.
This is NOT about getting it right or being perfect, that’s for sure. We intend to live and breathe with ease and grace wherever we find ourselves–that would be the ideal, if there is an ideal. Even if we find ourselves in murkey, monkey, wild horse terrain….It all belongs….
Miche,
Welcome, nice to meet you! You are reading the work of some very powerful teachers. I adore them both. Pema Chodron has had the biggest influence on me over the years. I think I have read just about all of her books. Her gentleness and humor about our wild minds just touches my heart and helps me breathe easier. You too? I will look forward to more conversations with you at my sites, too. (Thanks for subscribing)
Kimberly,
Thank you again for providing this wonderful forum for us to gather and talk about our spiritual practices!